It has been leaked from Cabinet sources that Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt has been beaten in an arm wrestle by a pencil.
This latest embarrassment to befall the troubled Culture Secretary is alleged to have come about after Vince Cable made a quip about ‘flexing political muscle’, in recent ministerial discussions. In the ensuing machismo one-upmanship, Jeremy Hunt is understood to have tried to snap a pencil between his fingers. After failing this, he grasped the pencil in the classic arm-wrestle pose, but failed to subdue the writing implement, and collapsed in a sweaty, palpitating heap on the plush cabinet room floor.
A Whitehall spokesman commented, “Stationery wrestling is a fundamental part of modern party politics, and all MPs have to deal with these situations from time to time. It is not appropriate for the civil service to comment on individual situations, but suffice to say it is always done with the electorate in mind.”
Did you know?
· In 2005, John Prescott famously drop-kicked a laminator through the front door of 10 Downing St, narrowly missing Tony Blair’s cold, soulless face.
· In 1996, John Major was voted more boring than a box of staples in an FHM poll.
· Gordon Brown cannot operate stationery as he is blind and stupid.